Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Trials and Infertility

The other day I called up my aunt to wish her happy birthday and ended up speaking to one of my cousins for hours. I hardly ever speak to her but when I do the converstations are usually pretty long (partly because we don't speak at length for years). Anywho we discussed so many things and usually I don't disclose my trouble conceiving to anyone (unless they are also having trouble conceiving or have been there in the past).

My cousin is a 40 year old beautiful woman who is still single. While we were talking amazingly I learned a lot about her and her trials. While we struggle with infertility, she struggles with wondering if she will ever get married and find the right one. In additon because of her age, fertility may be an issue for her also.

Its a concern for a few of my unmarried friends but perhaps a little less because they are a lot younger. All in all its frustrating to hear insensitive comments from others and although it seems like we have been jilted--it's always something, our trial is different from that of others--but still a trial.

Even though we don't share the same trial I was comfortable discussing the issue with her because she understood the difficulty and frustration of insensitive remarks. In the process I also learned that her sister (my cousin) also suffered from infertility and finally adopted.

For years she dealt with the loss and the hurt of not being able to carry a pregnany. Now she feels like its a blessing for her and the children who otherwise may not have parents.

She says that not everyone has the ability to love a child that they did not birth and her special gift for her to raise children that otherwise may not have a mother to care for them. She even has a beautiful granddaughter now that she also takes care of which is an added blessing.

This conversation gave me more inspiration because now I don't look at infertility as so much of a trial. Its difficult but everyone has their own difficulties and I feel a lot more compassion for the many children who wish they could have chosen parents like the ones we want so desperately to become.



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